Oscar, we have a problem

But it's not too late. The golden statue can reassert its relevance if the Academy will step down off its high-horse for just a moment and consider some of these issues:

1. The ceremony is too long. If it feels pompous, self-inflated and a bit arrogant, well then it probably is. Most of the non-essential fluff can be cut or cut way down -- the endless montages of things people don't care to see, the rambling speeches from people we don't care to listen to. The telecast needs to go on a diet. Scratch that. It needs liposuction.
   
   
2. Too many categories we don't care about. Tell me the difference between sound-editing and sound-mixing, and you get a prize. Do we really need to see these? Why aren't they relegated to the technical awards' ceremony (aka, the one not on TV)? Documentary shorts? Raise your hand if you saw any of them (and aren't a voting Academy member). Or animated shorts? Cut 'em. Drop the categories that spark no one's interest.
   
   
3. We have no power, and it's frustrating. Throw us a bone. I'm not saying we turn the Academy Awards into the people's choice, but let us have a say in something. Maybe a fan favorite award for best picture or something. We'd care a lot more if we were in on some part of the process. Maybe have live voting so can actively compare the audience's taste with the Academy's.
   
   
4. She was in what movie? I'm not saying foreign films or foreign actors aren't deserving of high honors from the Academy. But, who's going to tune in to watch an actress we've never heard of win for a performance in a movie we've never seen? If we relegate foreign films to their own category, why do we let foreign actors in foreign films compete in the others?
   
   
5. Think of us. Seriously, this is a simple-one, but it's clearly something the producer's of the Academy's telecast don't get. Be audience-centered. Realize that nearly every person watching is outside of the film industry and reformat, retool and rebrand your show to demonstrate that you understand who's watching (and who your advertisers are paying you to reach).
   
   

So, obviously. It's time for a change. I don't have high hopes -- the only group of people slower to adapt to change, heed innovation and buck tradition are newspaper executives. And we know where that's taken them. So, to you folks at the Academy, do something, anything or you'll end up the way of The Miss America Pageant.